


Seek

by Vena



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Act 3 Spoilers, A3! Act 7 Spoilers, Introspection, M/M, Minor Violence, Pre-Slash, could be read as platonic if you want but that's never my intention with these two lol, not very shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vena/pseuds/Vena
Summary: Somewhere out there, beyond the scope of Banri’s small world, was bound to be something that could catch his interest again. Something amazing he’d never seen before. Someone out there who actually had what it took to challenge Banri Settsu. Yes, though it had only been for an afternoon, running away had given Banri something he hadn’t had in a long time.
Relationships: Hyoudou Juuza/Settsu Banri
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Seek

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! this was supposed to be word 7 (the title of the fic) for my drabble collection but it got a little out of hand 😂 i tried something different than usual, and this kind of morphed into a slightly introspective longer thing than a drabble so i figured i would post it separately. it does get a little rambly in parts but i don't want to look at this any more so i'm going to post it as is haha. i hope you enjoy!

_Dull._

That hadn’t always been the case. There had been a brief period of time in elementary school where Easy Mode had netted him genuine praise, the respect and friendship of his classmates, and approval from his parents. Banri had had a pretty good life. 

At least, until it stopped. 

Banri still couldn’t remember exactly when the praise had morphed into indifference. Into something that was simply expected of him because of who he was. When the love and friendship he’d won from his classmates had been snuffed out, and all that remained was envy and disdain. When his parents barely paid him a second glance for earning top scores yet again. 

_Boring._

There wasn’t anything he could do about it. It wasn’t like he could just try harder to earn those things back; when you’re at the top, what are you supposed to improve? What else can you do to win over friends, to get your parents to look at you for more than the length of dinner? 

Everything that had once brought vibrant color and happiness to his life slowly faded out to grey. He felt nothing anymore for perfect test scores. Scoring the winning goal in a game of soccer wasn’t worth the sweat of a hot summer day. 

_Empty._

Running away was the only option he had left. If Banri could just walk far enough, he could leave the monotony of his everyday life behind him. Maybe his parents would finally give a damn and come looking for him. Maybe on the other side of the horizon, all of the things he was good at would have meaning. Maybe, just maybe, he could find a spark to reignite his passion for living.

The farther he strolled on the bank of the river, the more he realized that nothing would change. It was getting dark, he was getting hungry, and he hadn’t brought any food or money with him. He’d walked for hours and his legs were tired. He had nowhere to stay. The thrill of setting off on his own had, much like everything else in his life, faded out once he realized this was the end of the line. 

_Stupid._

For the first time, Banri felt like an idiot. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected these escapades to turn out any differently than anything else he’d done in his life. The taxi ride home was short despite how long he’d been walking, but it gave him time to think-- time to fixate on the only good idea that had come out of this whole waste of time. 

Somewhere out there, beyond the scope of Banri’s small world, was bound to be something that could catch his interest again. Something amazing he’d never seen before. Someone out there who actually had what it took to challenge Banri Settsu. Yes, though it had only been for an afternoon, running away had given Banri something he hadn’t had in a long time.

_Hope._

Banri had been able to hold onto that excitement for quite some time. Surely, when he transferred into high school in a couple of years, there was bound to be someone there who could stand up to him. Something to keep that spark alive in him.

But there was no one waiting for him.

Banri had gotten his ear pierced freshman year, just to try and get a reaction from his family. It had only worked for about a week, until it was quickly forgotten like everything else. It was around then that he got into his first fistfight when he’d bumped into the wrong guy after school. 

Like everything else, fighting came easy to him. It was easy to dodge a slow punch and a poorly timed kick. It was simple to find an opening, and land a knee to the stomach. Even easier to take advantage of the guy’s stumbling after that, and throw a punch to the side of his head to even the score.

_Crack._

Banri hissed when his fist connected with his target, his knuckles thrumming with the sting of pain and...something else. The guy caught his breath for a moment before righting himself and coming at him again, and as Banri blocked him and threw another punch he felt that feeling course through him again. This time, chasing that high, he didn’t wait for the other guy to counter before aiming another hard punch to the side of his temple. The guy went down after that, struggling to try and pull himself up before collapsing against the pavement.

Banri looked down at his hands. His right knuckles were bright red, still dully throbbing from the force of his blows. That wasn’t really what concerned Banri, though. There had been a spark in his chest with each blow. Something that he’d never really thought he could feel again. 

_Excitement._

Adrenaline sung through his veins. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt like this. Like he was _alive_.

Every day he came back for more. Fought more guys. He even beat a few that were twice his size. His victories hadn’t gone unnoticed, either. There were a few guys he started hanging out with; they probably just wanted to ride on his coattails, but Banri didn’t really care. For the first time in years he’d remembered what living was like.

But of course, all good things came to an end.

Much like every other area of Banri’s life, the fights became monotonous. Boring. He was a third year now, and in all that time there still hadn’t been anyone that had come close to challenging him, let alone beating him. At this rate, he was going to have to start taking some drastic measures. Something. Anything to make him feel that tension again. 

_Hyodo Juza._

It started as a passing fancy. Some of his acquaintances had been gossiping about some guy from O High who was supposedly undefeated. Been some kind of lone wolf powerhouse since middle school or something. Must not have been anyone too special if Banri had never heard of him before.

Before he knew it, Banri was on his feet and out the door. O High was within walking distance from where they’d been hanging out. Might as well go challenge this guy and get things over with. He wasn’t looking for his title or anything; the opposite in fact. If the rumors were true, maybe this would finally be a fight worth picking.

_Oi._

Banri wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting Juza Hyodo to look like. A tall, scarred, hulking monster maybe? The guy was barely taller than him, wearing a pair of tacky sandals, and had a sharpness to his gaze that hardened immediately as Banri got up into his personal space. That look really pissed him off. Introductions were out of the way, and Banri threw the first punch.

Banri felt the sting for the first time in a long time. Not in his knuckles, like usual. In his arms. His gut. His leg. His chest. His head. _Everywhere._ In fact, this was the first time he could recall a fight that actually _hurt._ He’d barely been able to land a hit on the guy, and he’d managed to break through all of Banri's defenses. He didn’t have much time to think about it, though, before he found himself laid flat on his back and staring up at the evening sky.

He tried to get up, but his limbs felt like lead. He couldn’t move at all without every inch of him aching. He’d never felt like this before. A feeling was swirling around in his chest that Banri couldn’t name. The look that the other delinquent regarded him with was disinterested and cold, but Banri felt like he was on fire. 

_Later._

And just like that, Juza Hyodo turned around and walked away. Banri couldn’t do anything but stare at the sky and listen to the sound of his footsteps getting further and further away until all he could hear was the hissing of grasshoppers. Banri wasn’t sure how long he’d laid there before managing to scrape his ass off the pavement and limp his way home.

It took two weeks for his injuries to heal completely. Two weeks he skipped school. Two weeks where the strange feeling inside of him had bloomed into a twisted kind of excitement. This was what he’d spent years looking for. For the first time in his life, Banri had _lost_. Handily. For the first time, there was something that had actually caught his interest. He wasn’t even really mad that he’d lost either; just a fire that burned in his chest that shouted he finally had someone to take down a peg.

All he could think about for two whole weeks was that pair of sharp, golden eyes. Had Hyodo been thinking about him at all? Had it been a long time since the undefeatable delinquent had had a satisfying fight, too? As soon as he had recovered, Banri had made another beeline for O High. He had to challenge him again. He had to beat him. Nothing would taste better than reclaiming victory from the jaws of defeat.

_Denial._

Hyodo met his gaze for a brief moment before looking away. Here Banri was, ready to kick his ass, and he wasn’t even squaring up. What, did he think he was too good for him now that he’d beaten him once? Was he a chicken, thinking his win was a fluke? Banri called him out as much, but he was barely given a second glance as Hyodo walked away yet again and all Banri could do was stand there like an idiot and stare at his back until it disappeared around a corner. 

And that certainly hadn’t been his last attempt to get a rise out of Hyodo, either. Every day he could find the guy, he threw a few punches, spewed a few insults, _anything_ to try and get him to fight back. But Hyodo always stared him down with his cold, hard eyes that sent both a chill and a thill through him every time their gazes locked, and refused to lift his fists to do more than try and block Banri’s punches. It really pissed him off. Yet, it also gave him something to look forward to. He knew it was only a matter of time before Hyodo crumbled. He’d follow him, biting at his heels all the while, until he did.

_Theater?_

What the hell was Hyodo doing at a theater? Catching a show? What a laugh. There’s no way Banri was just gonna let him waltz in there and do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to watch, he was gonna have to fight him.

And then some weird, mopheaded guy was grabbing Banri and shoving him into the theater yelling something about auditions. Auditions? For a theater troupe? Is that really what _Juza Hyodo_ came here to do? Was he a good actor? Maybe this was the opportunity he was looking for. If Hyodo wouldn’t fight him, he’d just have to kick the guy’s ass at acting so hard he’d be _itching_ to throw a punch. 

This would be even easier than Banri thought; he wasn’t sure he’d heard worse acting in his life. A department store mannequin could probably act less stiff than Hyodo. This was going to be fun.

_Provoke._

The asshole yakuza in their troupe was forcing him to room with Hyodo. The thought wasn’t appealing, but at the same time that’d probably make it even easier to goad him into a proper fight if they’d be forced to spend so much time together. 

As if proving his theory correct, they’d barely started moving in when Hyodo confronted him about joining the troupe. If it’d been this easy to get him to concede, Banri wished these stupid auditions would’ve happened weeks ago. He’d fallen for his provocations easily, and Banri felt the blood in his veins thrum with anticipation as Hyodo fisted his hand in his shirt and pulled him close. Now _this_ had been what he was looking for. 

...And just like that, it was over. Despite their warnings Omi stepped between them and dislodged Hyodo’s hand from him with a wristlock. Before Banri could protest, Taichi was dragging him out of the room and just like that the tension was broken. Banri was pissed; he aggressively shoveled bite after bite of curry into his mouth as he glared at Hyodo, who had wisely sat at the opposite end of the table from him. Not that it mattered in the end. If he’d been able to get to the guy so easily it was only a matter of time before Banri could rile him up again. 

But after that, he just couldn’t get Hyodo to come even close to where they’d been that first day. Banri had no clue what the hell he had talked to Omi about after that, but when things were getting too heated between them he could always feel the older man's eyes on them. Hyodo probably could too, because it was never long after that that he managed to put some distance between them. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. 

At the very least, he could still act circles around the guy. Banri felt a little thrill every time his roommate flubbed a line, improperly emoted (if it could be called emoting at all half the time), or bit his tongue trying to correct a word he’d just stumbled over. It was good, but it still wasn’t what he was looking for. It was nothing like that burst of adrenaline he’d gotten when Hyodo had been seconds from throwing that punch in their dorm room. Definitely nowhere near what he’d felt when Hyodo had kicked his ass to hell and back. There had to be _something_ he could do.

_Portraits._

That was it; There was no way Hyodo was going to beat him at this. With his wooden acting, it didn’t matter what kind of fake sob story Banri came up with for his life’s biggest regret. The audience would eat it up, and he could finally prove that he was better than Hyodo once and for all. It was the only reason he was still here-- the last few weeks had, very annoyingly, proven that despite how shitty at it he was Hyodo was serious about theater. Beating him at an acting competition would probably be way more satisfying than just pounding on him with his fists, when the guy seemed to care less about that.

Time dragged on. Sometimes Itaru would pester him about his portrait while they were playing games, but it didn’t really matter. Banri could probably just adlib the whole thing the day of and win hands down if he really wanted to, but every night he spotted Hyodo sitting out in the courtyard pouring over his notebook the more pissed off he got. He sat down in their room and got to work. Finished the whole thing in one night; there was another victory for him, considering how long it was taking Hyodo to finish his. Banri didn’t really have any regrets, since life had been such a breeze for him, but it hadn’t been hard to come up with a heart-wrenching story. And with his acting, there was no way he’d lose to whatever the hell Hyodo had come up with.

_Worst._

There was no way in hell. The director and her friend were just saying that to get under Banri’s skin. There was no way his portrait had been worse than everyone else’s; let alone _Hyodo_ being the best. Were they blind? Deaf? It didn’t matter what they thought anyway, since they wouldn’t be the ones voting the night of the performance. What they said didn’t mean anything to him. 

But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

Day after day, as the final performance date drew nearer, the thought that Hyodo had somehow beaten him _again_ wouldn’t leave his head. Banri was the winner here; it wasn’t like his acting had gotten much better since their rehearsal. There was no way the audience would choose him over Banri.

But what if they did?

If they did, just what the hell had Banri been doing here? He was wasting his time. Maybe he should just go home. He couldn’t get Hyodo to fight him, and he’d left him in the dust with his acting since the beginning. That was all there was to it. There was nothing left here for him. He’d been here for the thrill of the chase, the excitement of proving he was better than Hyodo at his own game. And he’d done that. He wasn’t running away. He just wasn’t wasting any more time in this dump. 

He couldn’t forget the way Hyodo had looked at him as he left the dorm for the last time. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much time to dwell on it as the director had caught up with him far too soon afterward. She just kept egging him on, telling him he should watch Hyodo’s portrait. Banri’s stomach dropped at the thought. Not because he thought he’d lose or anything, though. It was just an exercise in futility. And yet, he let her drag him along to the theater. 

As he sat in his seat and watched the lights in the theater dim, he couldn’t help but feel antsy. Hyodo’s portrait was last, and the rest of the troupe’s portraits were... _good._ Maybe the director had been right- it was easy to see just how real each of their stories were, and how palpable their emotions were. Something about Taichi’s felt a little off, but Omi and Sakyo were hard acts to follow. And as the stage dimmed to prepare for the final act, Banri’s stomach twisted in anticipation. After what seemed like an eternity a single spotlight cast its light down from the ceiling, illuminating Hyodo in the center of the dark stage.

_I’ve always wanted to be someone else._

Banri was glad the rest of the theater was shrouded in darkness, because he absolutely didn’t want the Director to see whatever kind of expression he must have on his face. He’d never seen Hyodo like this before. Sure, his acting still wasn’t very polished, but that didn’t detract from the feelings that oozed into Banri with every statement, every punctuated movement, every line of dialogue. He understood now. He hadn’t had a chance of beating Hyodo with his bullshit story no matter how well he acted it out. 

He’d been in such a trance watching him, he startled when the audience started applauding at the end. He hadn’t realized it was over. How drawn in he’d become. There was a strange feeling in his chest that he couldn’t put a name to. Anger? Anticipation? Frustration? 

_...Longing?_

Maybe he’d go back to Mankai after all. He wasn’t about to let Hyodo beat him now, and his blood was singing as much as it had that night the guy had beaten the shit out of him. Maybe some of that idiot's passion had rubbed off on him.

Maybe this was what he'd been seeking all these years.


End file.
